Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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