Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
