The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
