Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize