I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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