You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
