we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
