so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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