I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize