every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
