If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize