Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize