Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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