I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
