i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
