THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
