There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
