i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
