I think my vagina is haunted
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize