Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I fill condoms, not promises.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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