just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
