WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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