You work out of a Hotel?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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