i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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