I wanna bring you to show and tell
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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