i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
