She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
