my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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