I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Randomize
