oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
