he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
