Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
