Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
