My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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