carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
