Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
