if i can run in heels then i can drive
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize