Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
