it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
