no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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