I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
