I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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