and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
