its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
