Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
