I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
