too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
