I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
