Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
