so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
