Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
