For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
The air taste purple.
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