i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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