Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Sacagawea was the original milf.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
