I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I think my vagina is haunted
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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