It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
