Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
