Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You smell like stripper and shame
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
