Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize