Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
you inspire me to be a worse person
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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